The Ten Commandments
Last updated 2004-06-28 by Roedy
Green ©2001-2004 Canadian Mind Products.
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: The New Ten Commandments.
Introduction
There are so many thou shalt nots in the Bible it is hard to determine exactly
which ones made it to Moses' tablet. They include many minor sins and leave out
major ones, gagging on gnats and swallowing camels. I felt it was high time
somebody brought them up to date.
The Original Ten Commandments
-
I am the Lord your God. You Shall have no Other gods Before
Me. A recipe for religious intolerance and violence.
-
You Shall Not Make Graven Images. Graven
means statues. Kristians totally ignore this with their plastic Jesus's dangling
from the dashboard and weeping virgin statues in their churches, and statues
generally. I agree most of these statues are tacky, but I cannot understand why
this should be considered the number two sin. Do statues accidentally entrap
spirits trying to incarnate in bodies? Would putting a little warning sign on
the statue saying "Not a real person" suffice to stop it from being
considered a danger? Islam has a similar prohibition, even against two
dimensional realistic images, possibly based on Deuteronomy
16:22. Is it only because of the temptation to worship them? Is the problem
idealisation, creating impossibly beautiful images that no real person could
measure up to, basically a condemnation of pornography? What is the history of
this taboo? Do dolls, robots, holographic projections and inflatable dolls count
as statues? This commandment needs to be reformulated to make it clear why it
is needed, if indeed it is. Few people literally worship golden calves any more,
though I did read that the golden calf from the movie was being auctioned at
EBay.
-
Do Not Take God's Name in Vain. This
means don't swear. Is this really important enough to make it to the top ten
sins?
-
Keep Holy the Lord's Day. Again,
is refraining from Sunday shopping one of the world's top ten sins? Get serious.
-
Honour your Father and Mother. This
is often taken to mean you should unquestioning take on your parents beliefs,
including such things as racial prejudice and xenophobia.
-
Do Not Kill. However this does
not seem to include hunting for sport, killing whales, killing in war, or
capital punishment. This is too wimpy a commandment.
-
Do Not Commit Adultery. Adultery
is about the least valid reason for a couple to split up. This commandment
encourages couples who are otherwise happy to split over a single instance of
adultery. Adultery handles only one of many important agreements people make
with each other.
-
Do Not Steal. Stealing is defined
to be a crime only of the lower classes. When upper class people do it is
called "cornering the market", "sharp business", "monopoly"
or "pressing your advantage". It needs to be reformulated to
explicitly cover more territory, perhaps something like the Buddhist refrain
from taking that which is not given.
-
Do Not Lie. Judge Jackson got in
trouble for not lying about what he thought of Bill Gates. This is a
strange world.
-
Do not covet your neighbour's goods. As
sins go, this harms only the covetor. Why is it here in the top ten?
How come all this seemingly minor stuff is up there, but all seven deadly sins
are not represented? Where is homosexuality?
The Vulcan Ten Commandments
The new commandments might not be so disturbing if you imagined them as a
fictious set of Vulcan Ten Commandments. The formulations here have been diluted
for human use, These commandments have not been all that well tested on humans.
Please use caution.
-
You are the planet's keeper. It is your duty to
protect the seas, forests and wetlands, and all the species that live therein
for all generations to come. I don't mean we should micromanage the affairs of
every wild animal, but that we should preserve natural habitat for other species.
Humans are not the only inhabitants of planet earth.
-
You are your brothers' keeper. From the point of view
of cosmic consciousness, you are your brother. It is your duty to see
that every sentient being on earth has food, clean water, medical care and
shelter.
-
Do not kill other sentient beings. Killing is only
justified to protect another life and only when there is no other means. This
applies to all sentient beings, not just humans. Retribution is not sufficient
motive. In some extreme cases, this might even excuse murdering a human (perhaps
yourself) to protect a whale. Killing is also justified as a last resort when a
sentient being requests death as a way to escape suffering. I have not got this
quite right. You could read this to mean it is ok to shoot a man to stop him
from killing a turnip. The Arrogant
Worms have a song about this conundrum called
Carrot Juice Is Murder
from their Live Bait
album. Here are the lyrics:
Listen up brothers and sisters. Come hear my desperate tale.
I speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail.
Vegetables live in oppression served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness. I say we take up the fight.
Salads are only for murderers. Coleslaw's a fascist regime.
Don't think that they don't have feelings just cuz a radish can't scream.
Chorus:
I've heard the screams of the vegetables, (Scream, scream, scream.)
Watching their skins being peeled. (Having their insides revealed.)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (Burning off calories.)
How do you think that feels? (Bet it hurts really bad.)
Carrot juice constitutes murder. (And that's a real crime.)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves. (Let my vegetables grow.)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (It's dirty as hell.)
Let's call a spade a spade. (Is a spade, is a spade, is a spade.)
I saw a man eating celery so I beat him black and blue.
If he ever touches a sprout again, I'll bite him clean in two.
I'm political prisoner trapped in a windowless cage,
Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage.
I told the judge when he sentenced me, "This is my finest hour
I'd kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower."
Chorus:
I've heard the screams of the vegetables, (Scream, scream, scream.)
Watching their skins being peeled. (Having their insides revealed.)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (Burning off calories)
How do you think that feels? (Bet it hurts really bad.)
Carrot juice constitutes murder. (And that's a real crime.)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves. (Let my vegetables grow.)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (It's dirty as hell.)
Let's call a spade a spade. (Is a spade, is a spade, is a spade.)
How low as people do we dare to stoop
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup.
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes, Let potted plants free.
Don't mash that potato,
Oh, spare the spider, Eat up calories, Oh!
Chorus:
I've heard the screams of the vegetables, (Scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled. (Fates in the stir fry are sealed.)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (You fat gourmet scum.)
How do you think that feels? (Leave them out in the fields.)
Carrot juice constitutes murder. (V8's genocide.)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves. (Yes your compost's a grave.)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (Take up macramé.)
Let's call a spade a spade. (Is a spade, is a spade, is a spade.)
Power to the peas.
Give peas a chance.
All we are saying is "Give peas a chance".
-
Tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Don't
repeat stories you don't know to be true.
-
In all your dealings, treat other sentient beings as you
would have them treat you. Put another way, love your enemies.
Conversely, treat yourself with as much kindness, respect and politeness as you
would any other human. This implies looking after your physical and mental
health. This does not mean buy your wife a fishing rod for her birthday, unless
of course, she loves fishing as much as you do. Treat her as you would like to
be treated if you were in her shoes with her preferences and mental programming.
-
Doubt. If you disagree with anyone, remember that
both of you could be wrong.
-
Respect the privacy of other sentient beings. Do not
meddle in the private affairs of others that do not concern you. This includes
selecting their reading material for them, selecting which recreational drugs
they should take, selecting their movies and deciding when they should be
allowed to die. Refrain from spying on your neighbours. Treat children with
similar respect for their wishes and privacy whenever it would not harm them.
-
Keep your agreements. Don't agree to anything you
know you can't keep. This even applies to little things like arriving when you
say you will, paying bills on time or completing work by a deadline. If you
know you might not make it, or won't make it on time, don't say you will. This
is one of my most common sins. I did not think of it that way until I composed
this. I have the sneaky suspicion that is why I have so much trouble with other
people keeping their appointments with me. If I let myself feel too much remorse,
I will just go unconscious, and keep on doing it. Hopefully, I can be gentle
with myself, catch myself doing this and shape up.
-
Treat all sentient beings as your equal. They are
not your chattels. We are all part of one great Life. Every part of it is
literally a part of you. Don't make as ass of yourself either kowtowing to it or
feeling superior to it.
-
Respect children. They are not your chattels. Though
they cannot always articulate them clearly, they too have wishes and needs that
should be taken into consideration. Every child deserves to be welcomed into a
loving family of at least two adults committed to bringing that child to
adulthood. No child should have to live where it is not wanted, or where it is
abused physically or sexually. You may wonder what happened to honour thy
father and mother. Children learn respect by example, not by being preached
at. Did you ever wonder why some children have such difficultly learning the
words please and thank-you? Not to worry, respect for parents
comes out in the wash.
I am just an ordinary mortal, but I think these new commandments I have composed
more accurately reflect the true spirit of Christianity (and the other world
religions) than the traditional ones. I think they raise the bar. They urge
you to strive for excellence, rather just do enough to get by. Instead of a
minimal set of thou shalt nots there is a set of unattainable goals like a
distant star to keep you on course, after the spirit of the Vow of the
Bodhisattva:
The deluding passions are inexhaustible.
I vow to extinguish them all.
Sentient beings are numberless.
I vow to save them all.
The truth is impossible to expound.
I vow to expound it.
The way of the Buddha is unattainable.
I vow to attain it.
This is a crude attempt at bringing the Ten Commandments up to date. However,
my impudence may spark a project by professional theologians to do it properly.
Even then, we should not assume we have composed the final word on wisdom. A set
of commandments like this need to be tested in the real world for its practical
effects, not just its beauty.
Even if theologians decide the current set are just fine for humans, they might
consider what sort of set we should create as hints to the artificial
intelligences coming down the technological pipe. How do we convince them not to
harm us?
You may wonder why a I left out a specific stealing commandment. It is covered
by the new first and fifth commandments. I think in future it will not be much
of an issue. For why, see my essay The End Of Work.
Pruning The Bible
The Old Testament contains many passages I don't think Jesus would approve of.
This includes much of Leviticus, Deuteronomy and Exodus where people are
condemned to death for all manner of arcane sins. In particular I would like to
see verses such as the following officially excised:
Deuteronomy
16:21,
Deuteronomy
20:14,
Deuteronomy
21:10-14,
Exodus 21,
Exodus 22:18,
Exodus 22:19,
Leviticus
11:9,
Leviticus
25:44-45,
Leviticus
12:3,
Leviticus
18:22,
Leviticus
24:16,
Leviticus
31:17.
I could go on an on and on. Perhaps it is time for Christians to disown the
violence, craziness, cruelty and retribution of the Old Testament as Jesus
suggested in John
I 2:7-12 and embrace the message of forgiveness in the New Testament.
On the other paw, Jesus suggests you are stuck with all that nuttiness in Matthew
5:18-19.
Given that no one bothered to record his words as he spoke, it is little wonder
accounts of his sayings conflict.
I am not the first person to suggest that the Bible should be pruned. No less
than President Thomas Jefferson was so disturbed by this admixture of dross with
the gold, he edited a condensed
Bible with the obsolete parts removed. Another way to look at it, that was
his Bible Study Guide to point you to the most
important parts of the Bible.
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